Terrible Twenties

nailcolors asked: Why is it so hard to find a decent 25-28 year old male? I may not qualify as "decent" myself...but jesus, if only projection and karma and fate and 'you attract what you put out' were in my favor for once.

Well, I’d start off by maybe widening your gap a little. Giving yourself a three year window isn’t doing you any good. Boys’maturity dates have more variants than a high school chemistry experiment; we can’t limit ourselves. I’d say you can at least start opening it up to 30.

Don’t limit yourself to where you will find a guy. Try online dating, or reconnecting with people from your past. It’s pretty rare to meet the love of your life in a dive bar at 2am, and I wouldn’t count on a serendipitous meet-cute at the grocery store or an airport.

I’m not quite sure I understand what you mean by not “decent,” but I think it’s safe to assume you’re still within a normal range of twenty something decency. We’ve all made poor decisions, drank too much, stayed up too late, had weird sex with an undesirable. It’s cool; we’ve all been there…multiple times. Don’t ever think less of yourself for anything.

It’s common sense that if whatever you are doing, isn’t working, then you should probably stop. If wishing, hoping, and self prophecizing your next lover isn’t happening, it’s time to quit. Stop trying to make love happen. A good friend always tells me that love isn’t deserved, it’s earned.

You can’t sit there and expect love to happen TO you. Instead, focus on being a great person to yourself and the other people around you. It’s important to maintain all types of relationships in your life, whether it’s family, friends, or professional. Romantic relationships always seem to take center stage, so take this lull in your love life as a chance to build stronger ties in other areas. You’ll be thankful once the right person does come along; you will have already established a support system.

Lastly, you’re young. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, casual or serious, but you’ve got time. You’ll never get your twenties back, so make sure you make the most of them, whatever that means to you.

Hezah, 26