(Past)

Hezah, 26

I’ve recently begun to notice many twenty somethings uttering the phrase, “This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 2_.”Apparently their juvenile counterparts had grandiose visions for their older adult selves that don’t quite gel with the reality of present day. Some of us are relieved to find ourselves living a life exceeding our inner child’s expectations, while others are frustrated and disgruntled that they haven’t bought a house, gotten married, had a child, achieved “success”, moved out of their parents’ house, gotten a degree, chosen a career path that makes them happy, traveled the world, released a grudge, or even mended an overdue broken relationship.

I think perhaps the disconnect comes from the shift in perspective from child to adult. When we were younger being in your twenties seemed so far away. If movies like Reality Bites and sitcoms like Friends taught us anything, it was that your twenties were fuggin awesome. It was always portrayed as this magical time where you had an unlimited amount of money, could live in a kick ass apartment with all your best friends, and you could do whatever the hell you wanted. Twenty something life was shown as worry free, love ridden, angsty, drunk, and no one ever really seemed to go to work, but if they did it was obviously a dream job. No wonder, we are all so damn disillusioned.

What’s funny is, whenever I hear someone talk about what they imagined their adult lives to be like, I can’t reach for any memory of my own childhood musings. When I was younger, I never really thought about what my life would be like as an adult. I think I had a very nebulous cloud of an idea of what my life would be like. I am fairly certain the haze of my future included a husband, kids, a home, and a career; however, there were never any details for any of these major life building blocks. I think it’s strange that I didn’t have and concrete ideas of what I wanted from life at a young age. Sometimes, I feel a little excluded and disappointed that I have no childlike wonder benchmarks to compare my current state, even if just for amusement.

This among other things has led me to infer that there are three types of people in this world: The past people, the present people, and the future people.

Some people live in the past; they can’t let things go and are in a constant state of nostalgia. These were the Lost Boys of your youth, resisting puberty like the bubonic plague, never ready for the next phase. In twenty-somethings, these are the people who can’t let college go. They still want to pre-party before going to a bar, the ones who STILL get blacked out drunk on a regular basis, the ones who display their old faded college paraphernalia not on game day, and the ones who still brag about questionable decisions. Now they can’t seem to set whomever they were in their heyday free, and refuse to grow the fuck up and try a little restraint and maturity on for size. Some of these past people even actually go back to school! Law school means you’ll be “safe” for another three years…right….?

The future people are the ones who had the aforementioned life plans laid out in grade school. They are usually worriers, overachievers, and very successful in whatever they choose to do. They constantly have their heads into whatever is the next step, and generally can’t wait to get there so they work that much harder. These were the children that worried about nothing, always got perfect grades, had chosen a Law School at eight years old, couldn’t wait to be a teenager, and really liked playing Life. Now in their twenties, these folks have great careers, financial plans, and if they are in serious relationship they have very detailed agendas for that as well. However, they are still worrying about what’s next, and eager to just get there already.

(Present)

The last type of person is the present person. Being a present person, I know firsthand what a wishy washy free floaty life this can be. We live in the moment, don’t like to make plans, and don’t hold a grudge. In our youth we were ready for adventure, and didn’t really seem to worry about anything past the weekend, and were generally easy going and possibly flaky. As twenty somethings we are impulsive, don’t take life too seriously, have faith in the universe that everything will be ok, don’t live with regret, and are excited about the future even though they have no idea what that means. However, we generally change jobs too often, make in the moment bad decisions, get up and move, engage in bad behavior because it feels good at the time (consequences can be dealt with later), won’t commit to a plan because something better might come up, and live with a c’est la vie attitude that will more often than not bite you in the ass…in the future.

No matter what type of person you are, all three matter. Becoming an adult means finding balance in your life with the past, present, and the future, which is no easy feat. It’s a struggle, but you can’t focus on just one area, but rather, live a little in all three. Obviously that stupid cliched sentiment of, “growing up is never easy” rings very true.

Great, so I know what has happened, I am pretty sure I have an idea of what’s going on now, but where is the oracle to tell me what’s next??

(Future)