Hezah, 26

…I stayed home instead of partied for health preservation.

This past weekend, I did something incredibly responsible. I was having a girls’ weekend with my friends in the desert; we gambled with old farts, rocked out drunk to The Village people, and read gossip magazines by the pool. It was midday Saturday when I started to feel my glands begin to whimper. “Oh no, I thought.” I had contracted strep twice already this year, and thought “damn you rule of three’s!”

I started my pathetic act pretty early in the day (no more vodka, hoodie hood erected, and general mopey face) so that my friends would understand how truly ill I was starting to feel. I didn’t want my party defeatist attitude to come as a complete shock, or be met with fraternity style hounding. I even took to the floor, sprawling out in general malaise. Don’t worry; I still ate a full plate of homemade pizza.

The hour to get ready to hit the Gay Pride parties of Palm Springs was growing closer, and although I had made into the shower, no other efforts had been put forth. Luckily, my friend whose parents’ home we were staying, gave me the side eye and confessed how exhausted she was feeling. An ally! We agreed to stay in, eat frozen yogurt, chat with her parents, and watch movies in bed until we fell asleep, while our other two friends departed to paint the town rainbow glitter. A rockin’ Saturday night.

I knew I was having an out of body adult moment when I had the thought, “I should not go out tonight, or I will be much sicker this week than I’d like to be.” It felt like I was in the middle of some supernatural transition, and I was experiencing a moment where I crossed over to the other side, but not fully. Just a glimpse into something else. I think the fact that it was such a knee jerk reaction to having a sore throat made me stop to think. My first response to feeling slightly sick was to “take it easy.”

In fact, the past few days have been filled with responsible decisions regarding my health. I have consumed soup, tea, medicine, and gone to bed early. I even went home from work early one day, which is a lot for someone who still has all her sick days stored up for some sort Armageddon.

I’ve begun having these odd “adult” moments more frequently lately. For instance, I have been finding myself staying home for dinner instead of going out for happy hours. However, I still have a long way to go in other areas of my life. I just can’t seem to shake the “put it on the credit card and worry about it later you’re only 26 shut up and stop feeling guilty about this goddamn sweater it was on sale for Christ’s sake” rationale as I continue to purchase unnecessary items that afford me ephemeral joy.

Whether I like it or not, I’m getting a little bit closer to adulthood with every decision I made. I clearly have a long way to go (I have stopped looking at online bank statements), but I think I am making pretty good headway (almost kicked this cold!).